In the last few years I feel like I have been in a crush to learn more, write, absorb, read, and while I have not done any painting in a decade, I am still drawn to art and in my head paintings abound as do many other creative avenues, but my energy is wearing down. Many of the poets I’m acquainted with from the Austin International Poetry Festival are busy posting on Facebook their assorted acceptances and into which magazines their poems will be published while I only got one poem published so far this year and a few last year.
While I keep collecting data about potential submissions, I seem bogged down with life and do not send things out as diligently as other people seem to. It is probably that late life syndrome about frantic need to cram as much activity into the allotted time as possible, and yet I feel like I am pedaling as fast as I can.
It occurred to me that I need another lifetime to accomplish all or most of what I would like to achieve, that my physical life may completely wear out before I feel like I’m anywhere near where I would like to be. I am reminded of something my father used to say, “Too soon we grow old, too late we grow smart.”
The hopeful thought I seem to have gleaned from somewhere is that what we transition to is built on what we have already done in this lifetime, so it could be that it is not so crazy to keep reading, writing, and studying in an effort toward building whatever it is I am going toward.