My friends do not necessarily like each other, I have noticed over the years. Early on I was a little surprised about that, but decided that it did not matter because I liked each of them and they rarely saw each other at my home or elsewhere. In more recent times I have noticed that I do not like all of the friends of my friends either, but seem to be stuck encountering them because it is convenient for the mutual friend to round us all up for one visit. While I try to be both civil and Christian to the oddball companion, I find myself sinking into withdrawal mode and have no wish to contribute anything personal to the conversation, which tends to be revolving about the place we all worked at one time and whatever happened to this or that one of other folks from the same place. I don’t know and don’t care, but they seem to be infinitely interested in those histories.
In life we do not get to choose our family members or in most cases, our school or work mates. We are just there together to do the best we can to make the whole business work as well as possible and lament about the abrasions in our time away from these groups.
The more often I become aware of being in unavoidable situations with people I not only find I don’t care for, but flat out dislike, the more I wonder how this seems to happen to me and what is it I am being tested for – what is it I am supposed to improve or get over or learn from this tedious experience? I am plagued by the suspicion that I am wasting time.
I do believe that each person, like each snowflake is different and that all people have a story but my interest wanes more quickly with some stories. Yet these are the less harmful of assorted people along the way. The most difficult are those who whether by employment or physical relation feel some need to be in control of my direction and use whatever tools are at their disposal to exert that control and then if unsuccessful, become unpleasant or nasty.
Sooner or later these trials end, sometimes leaving me worse for the wear, wondering what the point was and how long I may breathe more comfortably in the presence of preferred company.